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There can be lots of ups and downs when using dating apps. Tethering your self-worth to apps or any match can wreak havoc on your mental health. Apps should merely be another outlet for meeting people. One should never abandon trying to meet people offline.
Sending likes, responding to matches, carrying on conversations and setting up dates can be exhausting, especially if you have poor judgment, don’t know what you want, ignore red flags or lack certain social and communication skills.
Dating is a skill and while some people can stumble on love with minimal effort, others might need more practice.
Knowing how to be approachable, charming, confident, vulnerable and responsive takes time to learn. Online dating doesn’t provide as much feedback about one’s efforts as offline interactions do. It’s quite easy to be anonymous and unmatch, ghost or give up without consequence.
If you are someone who lacks thick skin, self-awareness, good judgment, patience, ability to give each new people a clean slate, then dating, in general, will be tough.
One bad date or bad ex can make people jaded and harder to have a good outlook on dating. If that starts to happen, it could be a sign that you should take a break from dating.
Related read: Dates Feel Like An Interview
Signs Of Dating App Fatigue, Signs Of Online Dating Burnout, How Much Time Should You Spend On Dating Apps, Dating Apps Can Lead To Burnout, Dating App Burnout Signs, Online Dating Burnout Signs
If you become jaded and assume all women will ghost you, all men are liars, don’t bother putting in effort to messages, and couldn’t care less about dates, you are likely experiencing burnout.
Sure these things might happen to many people here and there but if your disposition is to be untrusting, skeptical and unmotivated, that is not good.
Being hopeless, emotionally and physically exhausted, assuming rejection is inevitable, and defaulting to lazy behavior (i.e. sending likes to everyone or using copy and-paste lines, paying for boosts, using too many apps) are all signs of fatigue and burnout.
Other signs include relying on apps exclusively and abandoning meeting people offline as well as the inability to talk to others about your dating struggles, getting help on your profile and using the same photos for years and years.
Typically, 1-2 apps and 20 minutes a day is all that is needed to be successful with online dating. Anymore, and you are cutting away time from improving yourself offline (exercise, nutrition, social life, expanding hobbies and interests, meeting people offline).
Online dating burnout can affect other parts of one’s life including work, social circles, health and outlook on life. Repeated patterns are likely to occur i.e. inability to use good judgment, ID red flags, screen profiles, read people, cut off time wasters, overly invest yourself in strangers, and avoid asking questions to avoid difficult situations.
At that point, you should take a break.
Dating Apps Make Me Feel Sad, Depressed, Unattractive & Worthless – Apps Getting Worse – Online Dating Apps Can Lead To Burnout, Dating Apps Are Stressing Me Out
It’s important not to put your self-worth into dating apps. Letting complete strangers affect your mental health and make you feel worthless is not healthy. If you are feeling like this, it’s best to get off the apps altogether rather than try to make small, iterative chances to a profile, and efforts.
The biggest changes that can occur usually occur with a significant change in photos, mindset, strategy, self-awareness, writing skills etc. After a certain amount of time, it’s hard to make a good first impression unless you take time off and come back with a fresh start.
Your happiness and confidence should be dictated by yourself and the people you care about and surround yourself with, not by anonymous strangers who don’t know you.
Related read: Psychological Effects Of Dating Apps
Online Dating Fatigue: Taking A Break From Dating Apps, How To Pause Dating Accounts, Reasons To Delete Dating Apps, When To Stop Using Dating Apps, Deleting All Dating Apps
Take a break from dating apps or dating, in general, doesn’t mean you are giving up or abandoning meeting people. It just means you are taking time to work on yourself and being more attentive to meet someone who is worth your time.
Some people just uninstall apps, but this method can leave you worst off. Uninstalling apps usually does nothing to your profile and visibility. Unless you pause your account or delete your profile, your profile will still be shown to others on apps.
While you may not care, some apps factor things like response rates and other etiquette measures to figure out how often and who to show your profile to.
The last thing you want to happen is to get likes, matches or messages from quality people only to have them lose interest because you are unresponsive. For this reason alone, it’s best to pause profiles or delete them altogether if you plan on taking any sizeable amount of time away from online dating.
Dating is important, but it shouldn’t be your life. You can’t be successful with dating if you ignore other aspects of your life.