Nytimes Matchmaker Article Best Matchmakers, Dating Services San Francisco Bay Area

Knowing Your Matchmaker – San Francisco Matchmakers, Dating Agencies, Professional Matchmaker San Francisco, Silicon Valley Matchmaker

It’s important to know who your matchmaker is. Some matchmakers have more experience than others, while others rely on qualitative measures while ignoring data.

Some rely more on clinical data and theoretical statistics rather than understanding nuance, corner cases and unique situations.

Not all matchmakers have done well for themselves. Some are on dating apps themselves, others have been single for much of their lives, a few rely on other matchmakers for their dating efforts while some are divorced themselves. Understanding one’s experience is key.

Going on a lot of dates or being married doesn’t mean you are a great matchmaker. It’s easy to help out those who have unique advantages over others, like looks, appearance, wealth, or natural charm.

A good matchmaker should not take on a client if he/she believes said client has unrealistic expectations, is not willing to work on themselves or ready to date or isn’t a good fit for others.

Related read: Dating Apps For ENM, Open Relationships, Poly


San Francisco Matchmakers – Lack of Data, Information & Testimonials For Matchmakers, Professional Matchmaking Services San Francisco, Dating Services Bay Area

If you look at the reviews for matchmakers, they are often self-reported on their site. Very few have public Yelp and Google pages (pro-tip, anyone can make a listing for any business).

It’s not uncommon for reviews to come from non-clients (aka non-paid users who agree to go on dates with paid clients) or from matchmakers themselves. Yes, not all dates are paid clients themselves. Matchmakers routinely scour dating sites for possible dates.

These free users generally agree to go on dates, but lack the ability to provide preferences or deal-breakers. Sure, dates are great but if you never had a realistic chance with the person in the first place, is it really a success? Not all matchmakers operate under this setup, so it is important to understand who you are going on dates with.

Some matchmakers claim to be the best but that means nothing. Having a dozen Yelp or Google reviews doesn’t mean anything. It’s important to ask around and get feedback rather than rely on anonymous reviews by accounts with 1 review only, no photos and vague details.

Getting 5 stars from a user who got free dates will be different from someone dropping $3k, $20k or $100k plus for services. Take the time to read reviews from multiple sources.

Related read: Best Dating Apps in San Francisco


Bay Area Matchmaking Services: Lack of Preferences, Dealbreakers With Date Choices 

When it comes to being sent off on dates, it’s important to know who you are going on dates with. Many matchmakers let client select a few deal-breakers i.e. age, education, ethnicity, career etc.

What often ends up happening is that clients are unaware of the questions they should be asking. Ladies – forgot to mention you want someone taller than you, lives close by i.e. withing 50 miles or who is single (not separated or going through a divorce) – that might cost you an expensive date.

Men – forget to specify you want to meet a woman without kids or someone who is willing to convert (rather than open to dating other religions) or someone who is conventionally attractive – that might cost you a date or two.

Oftentimes, contacts are based on dates provided, so unless you are clear about deal-breakers, you might waste your time on dates you have no interest in.

With that said, I do believe people need to be more open than they are as it’s natural for people to be more picky online or with matchmakers than they are in person. Using apps or matchmakers tends to curb behavior to the point that people use them like food ordering apps like DoorDash or UberEats.

Some matchmakers rely on blind dates to increase date counts as to not run out based on simple deal-breakers. While it’s important to go on several dates to get practice, it’s also important to not become frustrated with going on many dates that lead no where or go on dates with absolutely nothing in common.

Related read: Where To Meet Single Men, Women In San Francisco


Self-Awareness, Realistic Expectations, Screening Process & Results; Matchmaker Pros & Cons, Is A Matchmaker Worth It?

Some matchmakers have zero criteria in accepting new clients – if this is the case, huge red flag. If they don’t screen you well, they are likely not screening others well!

Even the best matchmakers can’t help much if you lie, don’t dress well, lack communication skills, don’t know what you want or lack hobbies, interests and personalities to attract the type of person you seek.

Don’t fool yourself, not everyone is a finished product – most people need some sort of help but not all are willing to work on themselves.

Once you do get presented with a match, ask questions. Don’t just rely on looks (some matchmakers work with photographers that take glamour photos that are unnatural, photoshopped or don’t look like the clients. Ask about how old a photo is.

Ask if the person you are being presented is ok with someone like you (not all dates, especially non-paid clients, are aware made aware of details like age, height, job, politics, religion, kids, marital status).

Anyone can promise dates. If the result or measure for success if guaranteeing a specific date count, that might not help you out. Similarly, be aware of matchmakers that promise ‘unlimited dates’.

Related read: How To Meet People In SF